Freewrite

If I could change one thing in the world...

This past winter I went to Russia to visit about 7 orphanages. The trip really had a profound impact on me and the way that I now view the world. The fourth day that I was in the country, we took a trip to a baby orphanage in Sergeiv Posad and those images will always haunt me. Seeing the conditions that those children live in and the way that they are treated has changed me as a person. I think about those kids every day, and I see their faces all the time. These kids are fed next to nothing because the orphanage workers do not want to have to change their diapers. I saw children with their legs curled up to their stomach from staying in a bed without being moved for months on end. I saw the bloated bellies from children who hadn't been fed in days. While in Sergeiv Posad, I felt like I was going to be woken up from the nightmare I was experiencing. It still seems surreal, but I know it was not a dream. It was the most shocking thing I've ever experienced without question. The structure in Russia is what is setting these kids up for certain failure. Russians believe that every orphan has some sort of deficiency, whether it be a cleffed palate, mental retardation or some sort of emotional issue. The majority of orphans are deemed "imbesiles" because they come with so much emotional baggage from the abandonement they've experienced. There are close to 1 million orphans in Russia in orphanages and another 1.2 million orphans living on the streets.
When we visited Orphanage #11 in the outskirts of Moscow, I met a 3 year old named Sasha and I fell in love. I think about Sasha everyday. I think about what will become of him, what the orphanage has planned for him, and what he's doing at particular moments of the day. I only spent a few hours with him, but he was the sweetest child I've ever met. Him and I became extremely attached, and at the end of our time together he asked me when I was coming back to see him. I have to go back to Russia. Being back in the States has led me to constantly feel guilty. I've learned that instead of feeling guilty for all that I have, I instead need to use what I have to help kids like Sasha. Sasha and I communicated quite well, yet the orphanage has said that he has a high level of mental retardation, which is completely false. Knowing that they have labeled Sasha this scares me very much, because when orphans are labeled this, they have very little hope for the future.
If I could change one thing it would be the Russian orphanage system. It is cruel and unfair and is in desperate need of reform.